Necromancer's Sunny Day
by FridayFrige
Summary: Lezard works so hard for Lenneth and his efforts are for naught. Can friendship and light open his heart of darkness? Well, probably not, but it'll do something to him, anyway.


(1)

One slight miscalculation and all of his dreams were crushed. For all of his magic power, Lezard had never learned to swim. Oh, he flapped his arms and legs wildly to keep himself from sinking as any person in the same situation would do, likely making a fool of himself in his final moments. These efforts only caused his cape to wrap around his legs and arms, a death-trap pulling him deeper into the depths of the lake.

He could see the sun as it hung over the temple. The silhouette of the ancient buildings surrounding the lake temple taunted him, appearing closer than they were. His final breath escaped him and he began to choke on water, still sinking helplessly. It wasn't losing his life that bothered him so much--that had happened before, after all. What he hated was that he had such a _great_ plan, and the mechanics of it still laid in place, just _waiting_ to be implemented! He could have changed the entire face of the world, and above all, claimed Lenneth Valkyrie's heart as his own!

Instead, he was sinking to the bottom of a lake like a sack of old potatoes. A sack of old potatoes being strangled by its own fashion accessory, actually. The princess was probably panicking her head off while doing absolutely nothing useful above, and her cohorts sitting around on their thumbs. This humiliation was far greater even than when Lenneth left him without so much as a thank you for being instrumental in saving her life. Then he had been forced to sacrifice the philosopher 's stone he had so struggled to obtain when she decided that restarting the entire world would be a right dandy idea.

Even so, he simply could not think of Lenneth badly. He spent what he supposed might be his last moments imagining that she would come to make him her einherjar. In reality he knew that she would not so much as turn her head at the sound of the splash for him; but it was his last breath and he could use it to fantasize if he wanted to, after all.

He closed his eyes and gave in. Better luck next life. Maybe he could still put to use part of his plan when he eventually became reincarnated. A time machine granted a man as many chances as necessary.

As the blackness began consume him, he felt his body bob in place. Likely it was still sinking, he thought, but he could no longer feel the sensation of it. Then he felt someone embrace him, wrapping their arms around his shoulders and neck. It was Lenneth who had come to take him away, he was certain.

(2)

It was black for such a long time, Lezard began to wonder if he was headed to Nifelheim. It would be interesting to see the source of his power at least once over the long expanse of his existence.

He was pleasantly surprised when this was revealed not to be the case. Suddenly it was a bit brighter behind his closed eyes, sunlight penetrating his eyelids. He felt the softness of lips against his own. Ah, the sweet Lenneth of his dreams. He felt cheated as they pulled away. This was supposed to be his dream after all. But as he laid there motionless, he could feel her thighs straddling his waist, her rump firmly planted against his groin. Her weight was in her arms, pressing against his bare chest. Long silky hair spilled over her shoulders and into his face. After a round of pounding against him, her lips returned to his.

He felt his energy return to his body. Strength rekindled, he reached into her luscious hair and grasped it between his fingers tightly, holding her mouth in place against his. Ah, she tasted like sweet butter and smelled of honey. How he had longed to kiss her, the true vivacious Lenneth and not one of his lifeless dolls!

As one might expect, she began to struggle in his arms. Yes, even in his fantasies she is trying to escape him, how adorable! He laughed and held her tighter until she began to protest. Her groans of struggle would have been music to his ears, except that the sound was notably deeper than expected.

It was at this point Lezard felt his lungs full of water and began to cough uncontrollably. "What the hell is your _problem_?" he heard Rufus spit, and opened his eyes to find his hands grasping a fistful of dark green hair.

"Ah!" he shouted in just as much alarm as the half-elf. He pushed his body away in disgust as Rufus backed away, spitting and rubbing his mouth. The princess sat a few feet behind him, covering half of her face with her hands in attempts to hide the blush she was wearing. "You..." Lezard growled, his throat still warbling from having expelled water. His upper half was naked and he was soaked. "You perverse twit! You were taking advantage of my unconscious body!"

"W-what?" Rufus sputtered, inching away frightfully on his back. "I was trying to revive you! You're the one who tried to make out with me!"

"O-oh goodness," Alicia stammered in a meek voice, growing very flush in the face.

Lezard flipped over onto his knees and crawled angrily towards Rufus, holding his hand out menacing as if he had a mind to claw his face off. "You have no idea what you have stolen from me! That kiss was for--!" He choked his anger back down, realizing that he wasn't dead and that meant his plan was still in place.

"Fine, I won't save you next time!" Rufus complained. "I swear. You could be grateful to a guy for saving your life."

"_You_ saved me?" Lezard answered, coming to his senses quickly. It was Rufus who dove into the lake to fish him out, and then implemented resuscitation. If he accomplished his goal now, he would owe it in part to the idiot's kindness.

"You seemed grateful enough until you realized that the one resuscitating you wasn't the woman of your dreams," the princess responded. Lezard noticed the unusual tone of her voice and looked up to see that as expected, her big blue eyes were narrow like a cat's. Silmeria Valkyrie smirked at him from behind the deceptive visage of the timid princess. Did she _suspect_? No, she couldn't have any idea of his plans. She was merely suspicious as any intelligent person should be of a man who helps for the sake of helping. Likely she knew Rufus's true identity just as well as he did.

All at once Silmeria was gone and it was Alicia who inhabited their shared body. The princess lifted herself and took a few steps on her knees, resisting sobs. Then she threw her arms around Lezard and squeezed him tightly. "I'm so glad that you're okay!" she cried. Lezard initally felt that this was annoying, but before he pushed her away he took notice of her face nuzzled against his cheek and her small but pert breasts pressed against his chest. "I thought you were dead," she whimpered on. "It's just so lucky that Rufus knows how to get people breathing again!" With that she slid away from him bashfully and retrieved his clothing for him. "I'm so useless. Without him you truly would have died."

"That is simply not so," Lezard said, dripping with schmooze. "You've got that healing spell, haven't you? Why not cast it on your humble mage? I'm still feeling a bit under the weather."

Alicia giggled and smiled at him in such incessantly annoying naivete. Yet, he realized, while the girl's charmed were grating to him, it was not as if anyone else smiled at him often. She at the least seemed concerned over his death, unlike certain valkyries.

"Could we just call it a misunderstanding and forget it ever happened?" Rufus offered, holding his hand out both to seal the deal and to help Lezard to his feet.

Lezard cautiously took that hand and the tall archer lifted him up with little effort. "Very well then," Lezard agreed as he finished buttoning his shirt, wondering now where his glasses had gone. Alicia held them out to him, unbroken and dried off with great care. He pushed them onto his face and looked at Rufus again with a sour expression. "But it isn't so simple for me to forget that you've stolen a kiss from me."

"K-kiss?" Rufus stammered, and prickled up anxiously. His face became tinted with blush. "I just gave you mouth-to-mouth to save you! It's not a kiss!"

"I was waiting to give that to someone special!" Lezard retorted.

"Oh," Alicia cooed, placing her hand so lightly on Lezard's arm that he failed to notice it. "We should have been more considerate," she agreed. "A first kiss is not something to take so lightly."

Rufus's eyes narrows suspiciously at Lezard. "You're trying to tell me you've never kissed a woman before?"

Lezard pushed his glasses into place and turned his nose up at this indignation. "I've kissed plenty of women!" he spat. Too bad that all of them had been humonculi.

"So what exactly did I steal then?" Rufus pressed on, growing taunting now. "Your first man-kiss?"

"Although that is quite true," Lezard grimaced, "I have not kissed a man before; but that is most definitely not what I meant."

"We're sorry for whatever we've done to offend you," Alicia said quietly, tugging at his sleeve. "We just wanted to save your life, really."

"I suppose I can forgive you," Lezard sighed in defeat.

Rufus rolled his eyes. "I guess that's better than being griped at, but I would have preferred a thank you."

"Then thank you, Sir Rufus, for saving me," Lezard responded in a tired and overly dramatic fashion. "I guess you couldn't have known what you were doing since I'm sure you've never kissed a woman yourself."

"H-hey!" Rufus sputtered, flushing brighter. Alicia turned away, holding a hand coyly to her cheek, to hide the smile that she made at his expense.

"Come then," Lezard sighed as he began to walk in the direction of sounds pertaining to battle. The monster that had thrown him was likely still duking it out with their comrades. "I'm quite sure the others are annoyed with us as it is. Let's not keep them waiting."

He turned his back to them, expecting them to follow. They looked at each other, Rufus gave a shrug, and they began to walk just behind him. Then, to their surprise, his voice steadied and grew serious. "I suppose that if I fall, I can count on you to save me again."

"Well yeah," Rufus shrugged. "You might be a weirdo, but you're one of us. I couldn't just let you die like nothing was happening."

Alicia looked up in concern. "Do you think that we would really let you die, Lezard?" she asked. As usual, she was a great deal more empathetic than her friend. As she laced her fingers together, she smiled brightly. "And would you save us if we were in trouble?" she asked bashfully.

"Of course I would save you; you are a princess my dear, and therefore by nature you can't help but need saving from time to time," he answered her in a thoroughly amused tone. Of course they liked this character he played, he was a cordial and loyal man of intelligence. Best not to let them even suspect that there might be more to him. "As for sir Rufus, I suppose he makes himself useful enough that I may consider saving him."

"Gee, thanks," Rufus groaned. "I feel a whole lot better."

How selfish goddesses could be, Lezard thought as he turned once again in the direction they needed to walk in to rejoin the others. Lenneth taking his love and dedication for granted; and Silmeria claiming these faithful saps as her own personal playthings. They would call him a deviant for wanting to keep Lenneth to himself, but how was he any worse than a valkyrie who stole an innocent girl's body from her whenever it was convenient, or used a half-elf as a vessel to her own ends?

Sometimes he wondered why he went to such trouble.


End file.
